“If You Don’t Want To Know Today’s Scores, Look Away Now”

You’ve arrived ten minutes early to the TV Room. Your uncharacteristic punctuality, half due to excitement, half  to your knowledge, after many years of honing your TV-watching tactics, that 10 minutes is the time it takes to sink to the optimum comfort level in your formerly-blue armchair, now a browny-green colour. Yes, this uncommon time-keeping has its downside: you have to spend ten minutes watching a sincere-looking woman, lips saturated with lipstick, tell you thenews from around the world. As far as you’re concerned, the only news that could possibly merit interest on a Saturday are the football results. Yes, Monday to Friday (except for Monday Night Football, Champions League on Tuesday and Wednesday and the Championship game on Friday night) you are all too happy to make troubled noises regarding to situation in the Middle-East, you may ‘tut-tut’ at yet another inexplicable stabbing in London, and you may whoop with delight at the rescue of a cat from an elm tree in Cockfosters. But Saturday night is sacred. It is, and always has been -apart from the 3 years between ‘01 and ’04 when ITV had ‘The Premiership’, when TheMakéléléRole asked to put into a medically-induced coma– Match of the Day.

At 10:35pm on a Saturday night, other people around TMR’s age might be out ‘throwing mad shapes’ against a backdrop of grime, grunge and dubstep. They might be locking beer-goggles with a member of the female race who, like them, also looks great in the dark, and attempting to fertility dance their way into her XL thong. But not TheMakéléléRole. It’s Match of the Day for us. Don’t be fooled – TMR can fertility dance with the best of them. But there’s a time (usually Thursday nights after the Europa League) and a place for that.

But now TMR has got its mandatory two paragraphs of rambling out the way, let’s get to the point. Every week since it can remember, TMR has heard: “Now for the football results. If you don’t want to know them, please look away now”. Now quite apart from the fact that if you don’t want to know the results on the basis that you don’t care (apparently these philistines do exist) you’ve either changed the channel already or fallen asleep on the sofa watching Eurovision 30 minutes previously, TheMakéléléRole thinks it’s pretty safe to assume that if you’ve made it this far, it’s likely that your next televisional destination will be Match of the Day.

However, last night a worrying thought crossed TheMakéléléRole’s admittedly small mind. When was the last time that TMR watched Match of the Day without knowing the scores? And not just the scores, but also the scorers and exact minute of the goals. Hell, we’ve even already read about the moment where Rooney/Balotelli swore/spat/smiled. The fact is – and TMR thinks it deserves some worry – that it is nigh on impossible to avoid knowledge of what happens on a Saturday afternoon in the Premier League (or any other league that might interest you), because if we’re not watching Kammy, Merse and Thommo try their best to act like well-informed, unbiased pundits on Gilette Soccer Saturday, we’re being told via Twitter, Facebook status (‘Get in there Rooney you beauty, I’ve always loved you!’ coming three weeks after ‘F*** off Rooney you greedy, cheating w*****, you never fitted in anyway’) or the Sky Sports Live Score app on my phone.

Now TMR wouldn’t possibly complain about the age that we live in, and especially not about the internet itself. We’re very aware that 50 years ago, if we had wanted to write about football, it would have been unachievable to get anyone to read it! And yet here we are with 100+ readers of our first ever article and a myriad of kind feedback. But I have to admit that I remember the days where there was not much more exciting than watching Match of the Day ‘fresh’ – by which I mean without knowing what the scores are, and TMR has incredibly fond and nostalgic feelings towards ‘those days’.

So, what do you think? Is TheMakéléléRole getting all soppy? Or would it be a much more exciting show if we watched Match of the Day without knowing the scores? Has our ‘modern world’ with all these gadgets, apps and tweets taken away some of the old-fashioned excitement of ‘Football Day’ and, if so, is the modern-age excitement an improvement? By improvement TMR means on an enjoyment scale rather than an information scale?

Comments are welcomed and encouraged.

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8 responses to ““If You Don’t Want To Know Today’s Scores, Look Away Now”

  1. Roswell May 15, 2011 at 8:16 pm

    Feel a bit cheated by the lack of thongs. Although, you’re right, MOTD loses its sparkle. I find myself shouting at players to pass to the guy I already know scored the goal.

  2. JiggaG May 15, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    Know what you mean, a few months back I purposefully watched it fresh and it was miles better.

  3. themakelelerole May 15, 2011 at 9:34 pm

    I think I’m going to try and wath it fresh, maybe next weekend when all games are on at the same time… Will make the relegation battle a lot more interesting!

  4. applebonkers June 25, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    The third person stuff, and ‘us’ is a bit creepy. Do your friends call you TMR?
    Other than that lovely stuff.

    • themakelelerole June 26, 2011 at 11:14 am

      It’s a good point you make. It was one of my first posts and I was still mixing things up! More than anything I just found it hard to keep the 3rd person thing going, so I’ve stopped (mostly!)

      Thanks for kind comment.

      • applebonkers June 26, 2011 at 10:33 pm

        Don’t mind me, I’m just annoyed I don’t have the balls to call myself anything other than ‘I’.
        Tried to watch MOTD fresh a few times last season and barely got past 6pm. It’s even harder when you play fantasy football. I’ve caught Buddhist monks on their iPhones checking the half time scores.

  5. applebonkers June 25, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    Unless you are simaese twins then I retract my last comment.

  6. Milagros August 20, 2012 at 3:18 am

    Excellent post! We will be linking to this particularly
    great article on our website. Keep up the great writing.

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